Oooohhhhh! Mommy Said A Wordy Dird....

It's not something that I like to admit, but I have a somewhat dirty mouth. I try to disguise it with substitutions like "shipwreak!" or "flippin'heck!" or "whatthefig!", and "motherofpearl!"

Other times I make a concerted effort to steer away from these vain oblations with "johnbrown," or "greatgooglymoogly," and then other times I just use the potty words under my breath because I feel that if it's hard to hear it doesn't count. I don't go on like a drunken sailor, but it happens, so you would think my kids wouldn't be so shocked when they hear the occasional slip up.

However, they react as if the world has come to an end when one of those sentence enhancers reach their ears, which I suppose I'm glad for. When they catch a bit of this corrupt communication, I hear about it immediately. Something along the lines of "Mom! Language!"

So the other day we were rolling around with my friend and her son when she made the comment that her sister thinks her son may have a touch of Autism (he doesn't), but couldn't remember the word her sister had used. Well these days there's only one well known branch (or however you call it). So armed with that knowledge and the symptoms she cited, I made an educational guess of Asperger's Syndrome, and I gave my friend the word she was looking for. At which point my youngest most keen of hearing daughter yelled "Mom! Language!"

Well usually when they call me out I know darn well why, but I was confused by her outburst. So I asked, "What did I say?" But she declined to answer, so I had to review my previous commentary in search of the offending comment. Finding nothing, I continued with my conversation.

As happens when discussing a particular topic I said the offending word again. Again I was called out on my foul language. "What did I say?" I asked once again, but then it occurred to me what she might be thinking, and as I turned to face my youngest daughter with an explanation she finally decided to tell me what I said wrong.

"Donkey burgers, Mom! Say donkey burgers."

"Asperger's Adi," I laughingly explained. "Asp-ergers."

She remains unconvinced.