It's the Little Things...

Babe has been telling me for years that his dentist keeps telling him he needs an electric toothbrush and I've always answered, "your hands work just fine. They grip and everything. Also, opposable thumbs. You ain't got to have no 'lectric toothbrush." I'm a bumpkin, 'member.

He purchased a "cheap" one for himself a few years back, but only used it for a short time because "it rattled his brain too much." I could see that being a problem, but my thought is a more expensive one would still rattle your brain, it would just cost more to do it.

I'm also in touch with my cheap gene. Got it from my dad. All my brothers have it, too, but I digress.

Babe got a bonus last week and asked if I'd be willing to halfsies on a set of electric toothbrushes. I made a face and had my scoff locked and loaded when I abruptly changed my mind. It was a surprise to me, too. So, he runs out to Costco to get those toothbrushes before I can change my mind, which I do on occasion.

He plugged them in to charge, but then had to leave for a Scout camp trip. So, he didn't even get to use his new toy. That night as I was preparing for bed, I approached my electric toothbrush with caution. Babe had left the directions for me on our bed. If a toothbrush needs directions that's a bad sign. I turned it on and quickly off again. The speed of this thing was worrisome. What if it slipped and hit my cheek? Would the bristles destroy the tender flesh before I could react? I took a calming breath as I placed toothpaste on the end and turned it on again.

My toothpaste disappeared! Had it eaten it? I found it on the back wall after a minute of searching and decided next time to wait until the brush was in my mouth before I turned it on.

After a second application of toothpaste, the brush went into my mouth and I turned it on. There was a rattling sensation in my brain, but after a moment it wasn't too bad. I actually kinda liked it. I moved the brush from side to side, up and down without over taxing my thumbs and when the brush turned off two minutes later (yes, it turns itself off) my mouth felt so clean. I smiled in the mirror and was blinded by the brilliant shine of my chompers. I heard a choir of angels sing "sparkle, sparkle" from the heavens. My eyes have been opened to a world I never knew existed. I have seen the bright light of shiny enamel. I will never go back to the hand powered toothbrush ever again.

When Babe got home after noon the next day, I asked him, after an hour of being home, if he'd used his toothbrush yet. His reply, "I just got home." I was practically dancing from foot to foot in anticipation of his first glorious tooth-brushing experience. I've been married to this man for almost eighteen years. You'd think I would know better than to expect any kind of emoting from him. Yet, there I was again crushed to my soul when, after I asked what he thought, he replied, "it works good."

I wonder how he would react during a tornado.

P.S. Does anyone else find it appalling how much oil and other yuck collects on the screen of your cellphone? I'm constantly taking Windex to that thing and yet...Ew, just ew.