I am a clusterfudge.
It is a well documented fact, but I can't let that little fact keep me from getting stuff done. I can't live in a plastic bubble, even though my kids think I'd be safer there. We bought a wood chipper because we have a wood pile in the back yard where a family of raccoons has taken up residence. My dog wouldn't stay away from the pile, but more importantly, raccoons climb fences making the fence I put around my garden ineffective and that made me see red.
So we bought this wood chipper, and knowing that I am prone to accident, I make sure to wear eye protection and gloves whenever I use it. I don't stick my hand in the opening to dislodge anything that might be stuck. I even cover the opening so nothing can be spat into my face and yet...One of the branches slapped me yesterday.
That was the last straw of the day.
I had mowed the lawn earlier in the afternoon and it is a pitiful machine. It shakes and rattles like a ninety year old man, and as a result, one of the bolts, holding the handle on, worked itself loose. So with one detached handle, I took the mower and push it, backwards, into the garage.
Did you know there is a small part above the body, but below the engine that gets really, really hot? I do...now. I found it with my big toe. Yes, I was mowing in flip flips, but I'm not worried about cutting off my toes. No, no. That's too mundane for me. See, I'd get my foot caught in the mower because I was wearing close toed shoes.
I trip on my flip flops. I bruise my own boobs, hit myself in the face, and scratch my own arms when I break branches to put in the chipper. My fingernails get in my way. How the hell does that happen? It's so freaking annoying.
I went to dip my toe in a bucket of water after I burned it. I didn't quite raise my foot high enough and slammed the same damn toe into the side of the bucket...
Sometimes it takes everything I have just to get through the day.
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