Oh, I'm So Sorry...

Be warned. There is a lot of pain driven anger in this post.

I've been cramping for four weeks. Cramping, nauseous, bowel issues, etc. It's been a very painful couple of weeks. I called my OBGYN for an appointment but because I haven't been in for three years I am now considered a new patient and they can't get me in until February. I AM DYING so I called a second place because if I gonna be a new patient Imma try to be a new patient sooner.

Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen don't even touch the pain and I'm closer to kidney failure than relief from the cramps. I came to the end of my tolerance Sunday night and had Mr. D. take me to the ER. I was actually truly hopeful I would find relief, but I have found myself in a new circle of Hell.

It's the "saccharin-y sweet and condescending I'm so sorry you're in pain, but I'm completely useless even though I'm a medical professional" circle of Hell and it grows wider every moment. In the hospital they gave me an I.V. and some morphine, which I did not enjoy, did some blood work, took a sonogram and a CT scan. Doctor Clearly a Man said he found, "only a small cyst."

"Have you thought about seeing a gynocologist?" he asked because he's stupid. I told him I had an appointment for Thursday, but I'd come to the end of my ability to cope. "You should see your gyno about having a laparoscopy to look for endometriosis." Bitch! I am at the hospital right now! Why don't you do it?!

Instead he sent me home with a referral for the OBGYN that I already have an appointment with (in February) and some Tylenol with codeine. He seemed to think that because I'd been in the ER the night before, the GYNO would give two figs and see me this week instead of making me wait until February.

Nope. I called the office Monday afternoon, after the drug haze had burned off, and in spite of the fact that I'd just been in the ER...I am a new patient, and being a new patient means regardless of what is happening in my gut, I can't be seen until February. "I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I hope you feel better." I wish I had a toilet to shove her head into.

The Tylenol with codeine is barely making a dent in the cramps, so I called the ER to ask if it was supposed to, you know, work at all. The receptionist said, "nothing really takes all the pain away, but I'm sorry you're in so much pain. I hope you feel better." What I wouldn't give for a freaking toilet!

So I started calling around the freaking Metroplex because, dammit, I'm not playing anymore. I have an appointment for tomorrow morning in Arlington. I will chain myself to the bed if there isn't a resolution I can live with. Or I'm taking my uterus out myself. I have an x-acto knife. I'll use it.